Never at Peace and Always at Peace

Irony: Finally figuring out that you’re never going to be at peace…and being at peace about that.

I don’t know if it’s how I was raised, or how the neurons in my brain are wired, but I’ve never been at peace. I will admit that I am a little envious of people who live in the black and white of certainty. Religion, politics, the American Dream…ideologies with strict guidelines that provide the shoulds and oughts of human behavior; clear boundaries with thick chiseled lines and the certainty that comes from coloring within them.

I’m also leery of those who live with absolute certainty. It’s too easy. Too comfortable. Too “labeled” for me.

I love the path where the weeds emerge, the gravel is loose and the darkness may come, or not. There is a mystery there that intrigues me, lures me, excites me. It scares me a little too.

But it’s how I live.

It’s peaceful and not peaceful.

And finally understanding this about myself, my journey, this life that I’m living…brings peace.

Funny how that works.

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.

…live in the question.”

~Rainer Maria Rilke

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