Safe and Small

There’s this tingly feeling I used to get in my heart when I was a kid…when I felt warm, protected and safe. 

I grew up in an alcoholic home and that sense of safety and protection didn’t come often; but when it did, my little-girl-self knew it. 

I can’t really describe it. Sometimes along with the feeling would come a funny, high-pitched squeaky “eeee” sound. My elbows would tighten in to the side of my body and my hands would be in tiny little fists up around my chest. 

(And now I’m totally cracking up. I just googled excited little girl and about a thousand of those exact images came up. I guess it’s a universal reaction. ❤️)

Well anyhoo, last night, I stood in my little front yard for a while. To breathe. To land. To be here, now. 

And was overwhelmed by the stars. There are millions of them, unseen in the city because of the artificial light. Here, there is little artificial light and so the stars pop out of the sky like confetti or glitter. 

And while I was there, that feeling of safety, protection, joy came over me. My elbows tightly pressed against the sides of my body and my hands in fists, up around my chest and I squealed. 

Yep. I did. I squealed right there in the front yard.

For the moment this is all I know and as my mama always said, “This too shall pass.”  

Oh the irony of being human.

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