Sigourney and That Alien-Thingie

I think it’s fair to say that many of us are trying to figure out how to love in a world that just feels so mean. My newsfeed is just so depressing. I truly have to go LOOKING for the good stuff. 

I’ve got a little method I’ve been using that lets me love people…seems to be keeping me more at peace than I used to be about all this and I thought I might just toss it in your direction. 

If it makes sense to you, use it. If it doesn’t, don’t. 

I love babies. Babies and little animals…puppies, kittens, ponies. These beautiful little creatures are just so stinkin’ easy to love, right?  

That’s because they aren’t “mean.” They haven’t layered life yet. They ARE love and because they are love, most humans react to them with love. 

Watch any adult male interact with his baby girl. I mean come on now. That’s beautiful stuff. 

Before I started Girls on the Run I was a social worker. I worked for the Department of Social Services. I was the “last hope” social worker brought into situations where all kinds of things were happening: parental mental illness, child abuse, poverty to name a few. 

I noticed something about the children who were most resilient…most able to “get over and get on” with their lives. 

They were less afraid than the other ones. 

That’s right. Someone somewhere made them feel safe. Someone loved them. 

Now people, these were kids that saw and experienced some horrible things. Horrible. So horrible in fact it would be truly unbelievable to us…and yet somewhere in there…the voice of love snuck in, made them feel safe both in their circumstances and inside their own Selves. 

So what’s this got to do with politics and anger and the current stage of our world order?

It goes like this. 

It is my belief that babies are born without fear. 

A teeny tiny seed of fear gets planted. (I mean some fear is good. It keeps us from harm and creates good, healthy boundaries.)

In some children that teeny tiny kernel of fear gets too much attention. It grows. Their environment, the people around them, circumstances, beliefs and ideologies…sometimes even their genetic wiring…can over-grow the fear…until eventually the fear takes over. 
Remember that scary movie Alien with Sigourney Weaver and that disgusting alien that grows inside people’ bodies? Ewwwww. 😁

Well that’s what fear in people looks like to me. It’s not THEM…it’s the fear that’s been fed, nurtured, fueled over time. 
And now hold on…this is where it gets really good. When I respond to the fear (and anger because anger is just fear’s more extraverted twin) with more fear and anger I might as well be serving up a delicious steak, baked potato, broccoli with hollandaise and a nice glass of Cabernet to all that fear. I mean the fear and anger in them really digs more food and attention. 

It becomes so obvious. The angrier and more afraid I get of the fear and anger, the more it grows. Weird right?

So instead of getting angry at or afraid of the person I’ve decided Instead to address the fear…get underneath it to what’s really going on. I mean come on now…religion gone awry, poverty, racial and ethnic biases…these are like a freakin’ buffet for all that fear. 
Address the things that feed fear ; AND love people. 

Food for thought or love. Either way. 

Cliff note version: 
You and I are love. I love you. 

Fear is like that disgusting alien. I do not like it. I will address what’s causing it and feeding it. 

And maybe this photo will help. πŸ˜πŸ˜³πŸ˜€

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