Day 1

Why does starting something often feel like such a challenge?  Why is “the beginning” always so daunting?

I practice yoga almost five days a week.  I’m a recent yoga convert, having been a runner for most of my life up until about a year ago. Running provided for me, and still does (just not as often), a space to be quiet, listen inward and explore the landscapes around me both  physically and within.

In yoga, the majority of my time in class, I find myself “observing” my thoughts rather than responding to them.  One of my favorite poses is called “Dancer.”  It requires a great deal of balance as well as a high level of trust in your ability to hold the pose.

I fall out of that pose more often than I can hold it.  And then with time still left to move back into the pose, I do so, but always with reluctance.  It is often much easier to just stand and wait for the teacher to release the class from the pose and move onto the next one.  In the private world of my own brain I find that it is often easier to just do nothing rather than “begin again.”  Even in the small moment of my yoga practice, I find “beginning” or “starting” to be, at times, so difficult…so difficult in fact I do nothing instead.

When I started Girls on the Run, the most challenging step wasn’t the thinking about it or visualizing the possibilities, it was actually taking the concept from the internal cogs of my thoughts to the world outside…where you, me and others could see and participate in the concept.   Actually sitting down to write out the mission statement, the vision, core values and first lesson required time and discipline, two things I felt as if I didn’t have.  I was looking for excuses…new motherhood, training for a marathon, tending to my marriage.  I was waiting for the right time, the right circumstances, the right “out there” to make it easy for the “in here” to begin.

Ironically, once I wrote out the first lesson, the rest began to flow like water over a waterfall…there was no containing it…the words came, the people came and now the program exists in a space that is expansive, life changing and beyond anything I ever dreamed possible.

From one word on a page…

Maybe beginning or starting is difficult because it takes us into a space of the unknown…to places we haven’t been before.  We are launching down a path of what we don’t know.  Looking our “don’t know-ed-ness square in the eye” requires an effort, courage and a willingness to “fall out of the pose”…to then start again next time with a slightly different stance, attitude and open-mind.  Often I find it is much easier to just wait it out and sit in the comfort of what I do know, even if the anxiety, depression and/or frustration produced by doing so, occupies a tremendous amount of my time and energy

Today, I’m going to embrace starting again.  I’m going to be aware of when I’m reacting to life rather than “cre-acting” to life.  I’m going to embrace the process of starting, beginning and trust that the process will take me into realms of the unknown…which will broaden, expand and introduce me to new elements of myself which, in turn, need and want to be brought into the world.

What’s holding you back from beginning again…starting something…cre-acting your life?  Ever thought that maybe sharing here would be an opportunity to move from a space or attitude of waiting to creating?

16 thoughts on “Day 1

  1. Oh Molly, this is going to be a wonderful blog and wonderful journey for you, and for anyone who happens upon it, I can tell!

    I am empathetic to the begin-again resistance. When I am building my mileage back up after a break or an injury, if I set out to run for 45 minutes and have to walk at 25 in, I cannot run again. Interval training, which I preach to all of the runners I coach, is super hard for me to make myself do.

    I want with all of my heart to find my voice in this world, in this online blogging/running/inspirational community in the hopes that it will expand…but I am afraid that I have nothing to say. I was recently hired as a freelancer for a pretty prominent fitness website based on my writing abilities and my supposed “expertise”…and I am petrified to submit articles. Why is that? Why am I so afraid that if my first attempt isn’t perfect that it will somehow null and void the possibility of future success?

    I promised my career coach (and thus myself) that the word driving 2011 for me would be PROACTIVE. And actually, I have been quite proactive…about taking care of my car, cleaning my house, pleasing the people at my day job and trying to fix an unfixable relationship. My pledge on your Day 1 is that this week, I will take 3 proactive steps in my own journey towards finding my voice.

    Thank you, as always, for sharing your gift!

  2. I am always “falling out of pose” in my daily life and often – instead of “moving back into pose” and beginning again – I am inclined to find other focuses – books or movies or something on the internet – until some deadline or demand forces me to do something. I have recently been pondering this shadow side of myself. Your new venture gives me a context for looking at this shadow side. Thanks for – once again – giving me an insight precisely when I need it.

  3. Love it! I have known what nothingless can do…to be simple is to be free…:) In regards to your post…very encouraging. I have been standing still for way too long. Lack of desire.lack of energy.lack of guts.lack of a lot of things…I do feel like this is just a season…but I am the one that will determine when this season will end… 🙂

  4. I feel like my life has been a constant string of “starting overs.” Married to an alcoholic we had 9 addresses in 10 years – always starting over to make things better. In 13 years, I have had 5 different jobs. I am lucky in that I have always left one job for a better one. You would think that by now I should be a pro at this starting something new stuff, but it still scares me. I find myself again at a place where certain things need to change and I am afraid. I have always told my children that every time you try something new, you grow a little on the inside. I need to listen to my own advice. I need to embrace the growth that will come, yet once again, with starting something new.

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